Dee-Day Post | 25 Pt. Deaux

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Everyday a star is born….rather than writing a lengthy and annoying Facebook post, I’ve decided to celebrate a new year of life by dropping some jewels of wisdom that I’ve learned in my very, very short time on earth. Twenty-five pt. deaux! I’ve also taken the liberty of providing you with songs for your listening pleasure that corresponds with each jewel; you can thank me now or later.

 

Happy 26th years of LIFE to me!

 

1. Get your finances right

This is number one for a reason. My partner will be the first to tell you that I’m not the greatest when it comes to finances. I’ve gotten better at managing my money but I really wish I would have began practicing more “healthy” spending habits earlier on in life. It’s hard for a leopard to change its spots but it’s not impossible. Begin paying your tithes and saving for a rainy day! Deyonce’s pick: Get ya money- August Alsina

2. Do you, booboo

This is probably the most cliché jewel on the list but in a world full of catfishes we need to be reminded to be ourselves. I, like many young roses, most certainly have dealt with insecurities and periods of self-consciousness primarily because I was evaluating myself based on a false sense of reality. My most recent battle was about a year or so ago when I decided to allow my hair to go back to its natural state. I started my journey feeling discontent and vulnerable because I was trying to compare my coily hair to unrealistic European standards of beauty. I was disappointed to say the least. But somewhere along the line I began to embrace my individuality. And as a result, my confidence has inspired other women to begin their natural hair journey and that’s beautiful to me. I’m doing D’Andrea. You never know whom you’re touching from afar. Deyonce’s pick: Grown Woman- Beyoncé

 3. Dance to that ratchet song if you want to

Lol. As an intellectual and Womanist, I sometimes find myself conflicted on the smallest of things. Being preoccupied with saying the wrong thing or even admitting that I like a ratchet song is murky waters, giving someone else reason to judge me. Although I’ll always remain cognizant of how I’m perceived, I’m no longer here for living life scared of what somebody else may think. Yes I’m educated and can quote the latest 2 Chainz verse word for word and yes I’m a woman who’s comfortable with her sexuality. You’ll deal. Deyonce’s pick: Studio-Schoolboy Q

 4. Thou shall know what you’re made of

Every now and then I get a subtle reminder of how far I’ve come in life. The latest feat I’ve conquered is completing my master’s degree. That was TOUGH, let me tell you. I’ve always considered myself rather strong but during hard times it’s easy to lose sight of whom you really are and what you’re capable of. Life is going to bring you hardships, that’s inevitable. But just like an old nokia phone, you my dear were not built to break. Deyonce’s pick: I didn’t know my own strength- Whitney Houston

5. Be open to love

Love is such a touchy subject (See what I did there?!). And I have definitely had my fair share of run ins with it. Heartache, pain, happiness, break ups, etc. In spite of it all, I know that I had to go through certain things in order to both recognize and truly appreciate my current relationship. There are very few things in life that will force you to grow up and become selfless in such an intrusive way beyond loving someone. Once you’ve found real love it’s a beautiful thing but many have been so burned by it that running from it becomes a means of survival. However, we were not created to be alone; we are genetically designed to crave community, connection, and confirmation from others so by blocking that out you are inadvertently denying yourself the opportunity to be whole. You deserve to be whole.  Deyonce’s tune: Scared of Beautiful- Brandy

6. Just buy the shoes

Ok. This one may seem to contradict jewel number 1 but I am a huge advocate of treating yourself to nice things every once in a while, it just must be done in moderation. Life is short. Stressing out about whether or not you should buy something (if you can afford it) is unnecessary in my opinion. I personally like to plan for buys as much as possible so that I’m not just making large impulse purchases which has really helped me with sticking to my budget. If you’re out and you see something nice, CARPE DIEM! Deyonce’s pick: Luxurious- Gwen Stefani ft. Slim Thug

7. Continue to water your relationship with God

This is second nature for some and others may have to try a little harder. Growing up in church I can’t remember ever having to “try” to build my relationship with God but as soon as I went off to college, I realized how difficult that could actually be. I soon learned the difference between having a religious practice and having an actual relationship with God. The two are definitely not the same so you’ll want to figure out what that means for you sooner rather than later. Now that I’m wiser, I understand the importance of continually watering my relationship and growing as an individual. It takes some real sacrifice but for all that He has done for me, it’s the very least I can do. Deyonce’s pick: All I Have to Give-Mali Music

8. Don’t allow life to make you hard

Life is so challenging and when it rains it seems to pour down! I’ve met some really bitter and sad people who allowed the bad cards they were dealt to dictate their attitude and their overall perspective on life and my heart truly weeps for them. Obstacles are meant to be overcome, affect us in a positive way, and ultimately make us stronger. Don’t allow life to steal your joy, you’re the only one that loses in the long run. You have to take the good with the bad in stride and hold on to the spice of life! Deyonce’s pick: Let’s Groove- Earth, Wind, & Fire

9. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to

I’ve never been the confrontational type. People are always surprised when I say that. I’m not sure why but it may have something to do with the aggressive & adversarial way Black women are portrayed in society but I’m not here to preach to ya’ll today. I’ll always take the time to educate someone if I feel like they would be receptive but I’m not arguing with anybody. For what?? My life changed the moment I stopped trying to prove that I’m right and just began to pick and choose my battles. I’m not here for going back and forth with someone just because. You don’t have to show up to every argument you’re invited to. Don’t allow people to raise your blood pressure. Let’s just agree to disagree and move on chile. Deyonce’s pick: Furthest thing- Drake

10. It’s the little things & the joy they bring

Naturally I am a pretty high-strung person, I stress about life, the future, what I’ll be wearing when I meet Jamie Foxx, if the 2 hours it takes me to set and twist my hair will be well-spent the next day (shoutout to my Naturalistas), etc. I’m just always on the go, ready to move on to the next thing. Well…let’s just say that going to graduate school changed all that. I began to be intentional with my time and focus on just living in the moment. Now, I appreciate the small things in life like talking to my grandmother about the Mercedes Benz I promised her when I was 11 years old (she will not let me forget that), walking my dog, and eating some fro yo. Cherish the moments, the people, and time you spend with loved ones. Deyonce’s pick: Little Things- India Arie 

11. Reach out and touch somebody’s hand

One of my favorite quotes by Booker T. Washington is “Those who are the happiest are those who do the most for others”. I speak from personal experience when I say that couldn’t be any truer. Service has always been a way of life for me. When I was younger my Mama would give her last to family members or next-door neighbors even though we had very little ourselves. I was so confused by that but I soon learned that when you bless others you become blessed. Giving back is a major priority of mines because I was the kid who got Christmas gifts from the Salvation Army Angel Tree program and received donations from secret donors so that I could continue to cheer in high school. Find time to make your contribution to society in whatever way you see fit, you’ll have a higher quality of life because of it. Deyonce’s pick: Heaven- Jamie Foxx 

Honorable Mentions:

3005 childish gambino

Am I wrong- Nico & Vinz

In vein- Rick Ross & The Weekend 

Until next time, stay flawless!

-DY

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